You Can't Take It With You.

By: Joan marques - [work]
You Can't Take It With You.

It's already December. Not just here in my little town of residence, but everywhere in the world, of course. The reason why I started out with this obvious statement is that this month, which is seen by so many of us as the pinnacle of the holiday season, typified by buying presents for loved ones, preparing rich meals, and sending good wishes to family and friends, is not necessarily perceived as such by everyone in the world. Heck, we all know, for instance that the Chinese don't consider January 1st as their New Year's day. They people have their own calendar, and thus, their own New Year's celebrations. So, whether you want to perceive this month as something special or not depends on your upbringing, your culture, and -most likely- your religion.

It's no news to us, by the way, that the Christians have added special meaning to this month by declaring it the time of year in which they want to commemorate the birth of their savior, Jesus Christ. It's no news either that this was not always the case: in the 300 years after Christ's passing, his birth was celebrated on various days of the year. That is, until a certain group of religious leaders decided to coup the Pagan tribute to the invincible sun, and make it a Christian holiday instead. However, regardless of whether you are a Christian or not, the spirit around this time of the year is one of caring and sharing, loving and giving, wishing and hoping, and goodwill to the ones we encounter. At least, that's how many people seem to feel.

This brings me to a movie I recently watched on TV. An oldie for sure! One from 1938, with James Stewart in the lead. And although I'm not one to dwell on black and white movies with their old fashioned acting style, this movie kept me fascinated from the moment I accidentally surfed to the channel that was showing it. The title was, just like the header of this article: You Can't Take It With You. In case you were not fortunate to see it yourself, let me enlighten you a bit about its contents.

You Can't Take It With You is a movie about two extreme families: a happy-go-lucky-me, eccentric, extended family, consisting of grandpa, the family patriarch, his daughter and son-in-law, their two daughters and one son-in-law; a moody but goodhearted Russian, an ever-experimenting uncle, and a Black man who does the kitchen work (what did you think: this was a movie from the thirties! Besides, the filmmakers hardly portray them better -if at all- nowadays!). The other group is a wealthy, disdainful family consisting of a bank president, his snobbish wife, and his son.

It is this son that brings both families together, as he falls in love with the unmarried, beautiful granddaughter of the eccentric patriarch. He starts visiting the free spirited family daily and truly becomes enamored with their free, unspoiled, uncomplicated, and spontaneous lifestyle. Soon he decides to bring his parents over for an introductory meeting. But he does this on a day when the family eccentric does not expect visitors and is therefore at the height of its quirkiness: Grandpa plays his harmonica, granddaughter dances around in her ballet outfit, son-in-law poses for his wife as a Roman athlete complete in outfit of that time, and the beautiful fiancee of the rich bankers son comes swooshing down the escalator rails: And all that just as the snobbish parents of the lad make their entrance.

Unnecessary to say that the visit turns into a disaster, which reaches its pinnacle when the experimenting uncle forgets a burning cigar in the basement, causing the entire stored firework collection to go off. Everyone, including the visitors, gets arrested by the Police.

In prison, the bank president immediately phones his four attorneys to have them prepare his release. Meanwhile, the eccentric family habitually makes the best of this challenge, while grandpa plays the harmonica and gets everyone, friend and foe, in the mood for looking at the bright and playful side of life. But not the moody bank president. He sneers that grandpa should be ashamed of himself, which results in the single, sparkling moment where the patriarch loses his temper. In very eloquent but biting words he warns the contemptuous bank president to change his life while he still can. He explains to him that there was a time when he, grandpa, was also an accomplished businessman. But he fortunately realized in time that his life had become a drag, that he was not having any fun, and that he was collecting things he would not be able to take along after this life anyway. "So," continued grandpa, "I just walked away from it one day, and gave my life real meaning ever since. I got myself surrounded by family, and devoted myself to doing the things I really enjoy." Grandpa ended his tirade by reemphasizing that life is short, and that it's no use souring it up by collecting useless earthly belongings, "Because You Can't Take It With You."

Right after this outburst the old man feels sorry and gives the daunted bank president his harmonica to make it up. He encourages him accept it as a reminder of what really matters in life.

Soon enough it is time for the court session: the room is filled with family and friends of the family eccentric, who all came to provide moral and emotional support to their loved ones. Even the old judge seems sympathetic toward the uncomplicated, warmhearted family. He decides not to punish them with imprisonment, but to fine them instead with $100.00 for unauthorized firework shooting. Poor grandpa can't pay this, but just as the wealthy bank president is making the gesture to pay the charges for the "poor" family, grandpa's granddaughter, who is engaged to the wealthy banker's son, jumps up with fiery eyes, declaring that her family refuses to accept the generosity of such a bunch of scornful people. In the same breath she dumps her wealthy boyfriend and thereby makes headlines in the news.

As for the fine: the friends in the courtroom have started a collection campaign right on the spot and put together the money, even supported by a contribution from the old judge!

Now, how this story ends? Well, life goes on, and the power hungry representatives of the wealthy banker purchase the entire block of buildings where the eccentric family lives. Including their house. The family decides to move to another town, where their broken hearted granddaughter had fled to in her attempts to heal her broken heart.

The wealthy banker's son visits his father at a crucial moment and resigns, explaining that he doesn't want to live a dull, meaningless life of unhappy wealth. He informs his old man of his plans to leave the town for a while. However, the broken-hearted young man visits the eccentric family one more time, in hopes to find his beloved lady. And he is in luck. Her wise grandfather had sent for her to come and help packing, and while the rich banker's son uses this opportunity to try and convince his lady that they can be happy together, his father, the wealthy banker walks in. He has suddenly seen the light: he simply turned his back to the greatest deal in his career, annuls the purchase of the building block, gives his son and future daughter in law his blessings, and becomes a dear friend of the family eccentric.

End of story: A soul was saved. A good deed was done. Life was made meaningful again. This may be the message you want to cling to this month: regardless of your religious convictions, culture, status, or descend.

Make a gesture toward the ones you meet. Live. And let live. For You Can't Take It With You?

Joan Marques, Burbank, December 13, 2003

About the Author: Joan Marques, holds an MBA, is a doctoral candidate in Organizational Leadership, and a university instructor in Business and Management in Burbank, California. You may visit her web site at www.joanmarques.com Joan's manual "Feel Good About Yourself," a six part series to get you over the bumps in life and onto success, can be purchased and downloaded at: http://www.non-books.com/FeelGoodSeries.html visit my webpage: http://www.joanmarques.com

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